the toy is broken — a guide to agency

kids can have a funny way of delivering bad news.

• the toy is broken.
• the jacket is lost.
• the carrots are uneaten.

direct reports can have a funny way of delivering news to their manager too.

you might expect them to say:

I didn't finish the report. I had planned to get it to you by yesterday, but I prioritized other things and didn't tell you.

this is player mentality.

but often they might actually say:

the report was not written. Lucy owes me her notes. I can't finish it without Lucy.

this is victim mentality.

the former Stripe COO shares all this on a podcast.

she asks reports a question in this scenario. what could you have done differently? they could have given Lucy a deadline. they could have made Lucy's deadline more visible and accountable to the rest of the team.

I had a eureka moment listening to this.

• I can take responsibility for results, even if other people are involved.
• I can work around them, or otherwise influence their behavior.

"I can't control people or work around them." That's what I thought. This is not kind self-talk. Really it's a limiting and untrue thought.

I have a individual contributor mindset and I need to break away from that. I need to expand my circle of influence to my circle of concern.

Rishi you CAN influence the external world

Takeaways:

• I CAN often work around or influence other people's behavior.
• Ask "what could I have done differently" when you find yourself blaming others.

Further reading:

Title creds Tim Ferriss