TIL 4.8.23

some things I learned from a podcast episode today:

• being alone makes you sad. living in a big house with your friends (and potentially their SO's and kids) is probably better
• social fitness - one of the biggest things for happiness per some Harvard study, ability to maintain relationships, be close to people etc.
• have your significant other but also have your "other significant others" - OSOs. e.g. if you love Taylor Swift, but your SO isn't a die hard Swiftie, you might find it more fun to have a friend that is Swiftie and go to a Taylor Swift concert with them
• vulnerability/honesty is what makes you closer to others, gotta practice it
• stories are the filing cabinet of our minds. stories are just so much more memorable than other facts
• tell stories not facts
• if you have any story around being "undateable" in some form, empower yourself to prepare a shpeel about it, be growth mindset /own whatever it is
• dating in 20's is like a startup, two people that are a mess coming together. you're like what's the HR policy, where we gonna have the office. dating in 30's and beyond is like a merger, it's like two complete companies with their own CEOs, their fridge set up in a certain way, and mergers are notoriously hard!
• when people ask a question e.g. how's your day, don't be boring! provide more details, provide more doorknobs. always take the more vulnerable path and you'll feel closer to ppl
• one way to be vulnerable is to ask for advice 🤔
• "high exchange relationships" - relationships where both ppl ask a lot from each other, whether it's asking for advice, reviewing blog posts, etc.
• tell a friend something about yourself and start the sentence "if you really really knew me...". you'll feel closer