I’m feeling worn out

ah gosh, i’m feeling worn out

first, i feel physically worn out. i’ve been struggling to get enough sleep. i had 3 nights of travel related duties where i couldn‘t enough sleep, and then another 2 nights that were a struggle to sleep enough between work and working out. i basically lifted to failure with my personal trainer this morning, and I’ve also somewhat been running on the side in prep for the half. my heart rate is elevated. my watch tells me I’m stressed.

second, I don’t feel taken care of by myself. i feel off when my room isn’t clean and i dont fully take care of my skin and my hair. i also haven’t been eating healthy which doesn’t help. I have a bunch of habits that usually help me nail this, but all the travel has gotten this out of whack.

not to mention some dating strugz on the side

definitely the root cause is I’m trying to do too much. the month of May I’m traveling 4 of the 5 weekends. I’d say 3 of them are for other ppl, grads and birthdays (which ultimately is for myself bc I wanna be there for them!). But 1 is truly for myself.

argh. there’s a bunch of stuff I’m over committing to. i need to ask less of myself and give myself more downtime, more time to focus on work and sleep and healthy eating, less workouts tbh.

also the social stuff is tough. I feel like there’s always someone I’m disappointing. or is that in my own head? i have 2 old friends that want to hang too, that I haven’t even responded to yet. the fact is time is limited. you can’t spend unlimited time with everyone. I feel like I say no all the time, but I’m still over extended. I know it’s a good problem to have, I have awesome community and support but I feel overextended.

there’s also the daily blogging thing. I was actually originally gonna skip tonight. in the past, writing definitely took away from sleep. I really don’t know if I can do this sustainably.

Not to mention I technically I have Korean class on tuesdays that I’ve only gone to once LOL. I actually knew in March that April and May were gonna be rough with travel and bdays but I was like screw it, I can fit in Korean

Ahh gonna just do the minimum viable every day, and overall focus on cutting scope and taking care of myself

or perhaps renounce society and move to a cabin in the woods

It’s interesting how as an adult you end up being your own parent. i had this moment after my workout today where i was so tired, i wanted to sleep and potato. So i got back in bed, but i also got myself food and water before potato’ing, so i could comfortable eat and drink and sleep. I was like wow im both taking care of myself and being taken care of