3 min read

how to be a better friend

how to be a better friend
Photo by Surface / Unsplash

I've been obsessed with this piece my friend Justin wrote on friendship. It looks simple but I think it can change your life. I've been getting repeated exposure to this vibration, because I'm lucky and I know Justin. The rest of you will have to read his post multiple times.

I came away thinking, wow, yes, I could be more generous and proactive and honest and attentive and caring with each of my friends. I could strive for relationships, and I could break the fourth wall more.

Truth is, I have room to improve at friendship. Most of us do. I've decided I can't have an ego about it. I know I have a weakness - for me, independence comes easy, while interdependence does not. But I can change that.

That said, after I read this, I worried that I'd forget it all and make no changes to my life.

So I asked Justin yesterday, "Justin, how do I operationalize this."

I liked his response. The trick is realizing all of this is downstream of asking yourself one question: "how do I be a better friend." He said if you remember to ask yourself that 2 or 3 times a week, that should be enough.

Related musing: When I was younger I thought growth came from leaving. And it did. Growth sprung from moving and new beginnings and travel. But now I've harvested much of the low hanging fruit. Real growth now comes from stakes in the ground, and making great friends and then letting them slowly change you over time.

Thanks for reading.

More on friendship:

How To Retain Friendships Over Years
There’s this tweet [https://twitter.com/lauvsongs/status/1245462991702646784] from the song artist Lauv [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lauv]: > you ever think of all the people you still think about that u never reach out to anymore? isn’t that sad — Lauv (@lauvsongs) April 1, 2020 [https://twitter.
have your friends meet your family
i’m in italy with a friend for the month, and my mom is staying with us for two weeks. so far this has turned out to be the most wonderful thing! she just got here today, but over dinner my friend and my mom connected and had this wonderful conversation
how i learned to love my friends again
My friends were making a plan to order two giant cocktail towers for our table. One of them asked if I was down. I hesitated. I had ordered an apple cider at the last bar. “Yeah, sure,” I said. While we waited for our cocktails, conversation hummed at the other